I am a person not a brand

I am a person, not a brand.

Brands need to always be perfect, always presenting the best of what they have to offer. Focused on delivering a message what ever it might be.

A person, is a sack of meat and bones with emotions. We aren’t perfect, we don’t always have one message or goal. We are conflicted with what we think we should do and what we desire to do.

A good brand is something you can glance at and know its meanings and motivations. A good person can be having a bad day and be totally out of it.

I think social media and the way we use it has changed the way we look at each other. We have to now deliver the brand of Joel, not the person. I have to show off my smiles and my accomplishments and pretend that I don’t have any failures or faults.

It has become a place for self promotion instead of self reflect. I may have 616 Facebook friends and 444 followers on Twitter. But in real life I have the love of my life my wife, one close friend and then a handful of people that I can barely call friends at this point. People that used to mean a great deal to me have moved on and become distant. That is partially my fault, I now plan out things in advance to make sure I can keep up with my training and work. I no longer have the ability to be spontaneous and just go down to the bar or burger joint. I am sure I have said no 99 times out of 100 to going out and doing something irresponsible and fun.

But I have chosen to take on these adventures, to better myself and see what the limits of my body are. A few years ago someone that was very close to me previously asked me to stop sharing so much on social media about my training and activities because they didn’t want to see it so much. So I stopped. I probably shouldn’t have but if you know me, I will go out of my way to make sure other people are happy.

To get back to the original topic. I want to present my best to people and show them that I am amazing, but really I am a human just like you. Maybe even worse, I have a little bit of lizard in me. We have faults, rough spots, hard edges and the occasional jerkiness. Some more than others.

I guess I am writing this to say, “Hi sometimes I am fragile, sometimes I am weak, sometimes I need to not be on full blast. And I understand sometimes you need the same. If you are ever having one of those days where you just don’t feel right, its OK. It really is. We aren’t robots and we aren’t jelly fish. We are human.”


It has been over a month, its time for a new post.

Things in AiT land have been quite annoying the last month and a half or so. I would say that it is because I hadn’t been racing, but mostly it has been a coworker passed away, then my grand mother passed away ( right after we moved her to the area), then another coworker passed away.  Like WTF July, you are already hot and miserable do you have to be killing people off left and right also?


So I have missed a few training sessions here and there, but I have been doing my best to keep them up. I think so far I have missed 2 weights and 1 brick work out. For this training block. Mentally I have missed more, but physically I have shown up and done them all.

My weight has been relatively steady. I would like it to be faster, but as we have picked up a few more training hours, it has increased my hunger and made it harder to stay at 1800 or so calories a day.

As you can see from the chart it has been going down steadily for the last 3 months. I am peaking out at 188 on my swing up mornings, and bottoming out at 181 or so on dehydrated mornings. I know that isn’t the most beneficial way to weigh, but that’s why I use TrendWeight, it lets me average out the swings. BTW I have huge weight fluctuations from day to day and hour to hour. Depending on my hydration levels. I have at times had over 8 lbs of difference just between a post run weight and a post hydrated after run weight. I wonder if that is normal.

We got 2 sweet new kits from Wattage Cottage. One, we paid for and one was part of our ambassadorship, so that was awesome. I also have purchased the matching Rudy helmet, but they haven’t arrived quite yet. So far they are both very comfortable and I plan on racing in the tri kit at Cozumel this year. The other will just be for regular rides around town and what not.

Last week was the USAT age group nationals race in Ohio, that was fun! I got to fly with my bike for the first time. Sadly I didn’t qualify for the Saturday Olympic distance race, but I get to do the sprint on Sunday since you don’t have to qualify for that. More on that later!

Work has been work. As my dad used to say if it wasn’t work they would call it play. It really isn’t bad at all I love working in games. We have had some people leave and some new people hired on. It hasn’t really affected my position at all. There isn’t much further to go up position wise on the team I am on, and I don’t really want to try to lead one of the mobile teams. So it looks like I will just be plugging away doing the same stuff I have been doing for years. On the plus side, there is almost nothing hard that I do anymore, just more of the same. But that is a good thing. It gives me time to focus my energies on training and racing.

We put out a great new update just a few weeks ago and the players seem to love it. We re-did all the art for the first part of the game. Updated it from graphics that we put out over 10 years ago, to a more modern cleaner look.

I haven’t been playing a ton of games on the PC or PlayStation lately, but I was able to run a table top game of East Texas University for our company game day (where we get lunch catered and get to play games with coworkers for the afternoon) last week. Well, ETU is a setting for the Savage Worlds game system. To get an idea of what it is, picture Buffy the Vampire Slayer + Scooby Doo + The X Files. It is a comedy horror game that takes place in a fictional college in the big thicket of east Texas. It can be a ton of fun with the right group of people. It was the first time I have ran a game in almost 3 years, so I was rusty, but I think everyone had a good time.

My twitch streaming has fallen off the last month or two, with more training and all the losses of life, I just can’t get myself super excited to stream right now, and we have been too exhausted to stream Saturday evenings after our long days of training. I was going to do it last Saturday, but the PSN was down and I couldn’t get a stream to start. But I did get a cool new twitch t shirt on amazon prime day for when I get back to it, for half off!

I keep thinking that I should be better investing the money I have saved away, and I think I want to get into owning more property. I would love to have a house I can rent out and make some income off of, but I need to learn more about it. I know there are companies that will do all the normal landlord stuff for you, and just take a monthly fee. It seems like that would be a nice way to go about it. If any of my 2 readers out there know more about owning rental properties and want to talk let me know!

I will try to get another post up next month for you all.